i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
