butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I need help removing her.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
