i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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