The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I can't put those talents on a resume
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
