i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
