Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
