Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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