So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
