so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just had sex on a roof
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
