The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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