i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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