bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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