strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
