well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
