i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
