He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
