I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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