I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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