I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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