Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
