would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I think people are normalizing furries
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
