come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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