Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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