Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
