I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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