Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
