you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
