Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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