oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
