i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
