AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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