Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
my shit smells like andre
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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