My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
