I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
whose ass print is on the piano?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
