She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I need to align my fucking chakras
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
