Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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