rhymes with "ouble enetration"
that's an acceptable place to lick
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
