Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Be still, my beating vagina.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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