My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
