Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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