jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
