If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize