hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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