There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
