Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
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