i permit you to call me
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
