Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
