and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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