Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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