My brain says no but my pants say off.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
