Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
