Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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